(What) About Me?

What about me? Mm, what can I say? I graduated from university, I work in a private academy teaching German as a foreign language in Berlin, Germany and I’m not quite sure what to do with my degree now. I know that the reason why I started studying is gone forever. I definitely know what I don’t want to do for the rest of my life. And the only thing that I can think of doing seems to be hopelessly dreamlike that there is no chance at all to think about it seriously. So, what can one do?

Maybe somebody might say, “WAIT FOR A WHILE” and maybe he or she is right and I would totally agree with this statement if I would have said it to somebody but now somebody told me that I should wait and the only response I can give is, “FOR WHAT?”

I’m not desperate or unhappy or depressed it only seems like that nothing is in the world for me to relieve me from my inner-sufferings. It might be the wrong expression. Sure, it is the wrong term and denotation but what could express it better? Even in German, my mother tongue, I’m not a hundred per cent sure what I would use for these feelings. I’m not suffering from pain, or isolation or desperation maybe it is the human destiny to feel useless after 25 due to the lack of children, and according to that the lack of responsibility. Who knows?

So, what about Me?

One P.S. is needed now. I never felt like writing this following before but since some months I feel more and more obliged to do this. Altough most posts are written in English, and even this is not my mother tongue, I want to protect my touhgts. Thus, every idea, sentence or concept is property to marthebor and has to be quoted if used in other terms than private. You are welcome to contact me in case you are not certain about your rights as a reader. * July, 5th 2008