The End

?????????

It seems like everything started and ended here in Vermont throughout the last year. I came back without clear reasons. Inwardly I felt that something would be different. I didn’t know what that would be but it came step-by-step and sneaked up on me. The return for a month was a cure. I can’t really find words to express the things that happened here therefore it was too much. All my doubts got proven right and the whole world that I was wishing for vanished in no time. Since some days I’ve been trying to figure out a new life. I have to rethink. But it is harder than ever.
Besides the fact that my former host family acted like always, I lost the precious part of my last years life. All the future plans seem now like big bubbles which drained off. The only thing lasting is the memory of the time that we shared.

But I also learned more about myself. And I found new friends who will be always be openhearted and I will never forget what they did for me in my time of sorrow. Little smiles, laughter from toddlers and the screaming from parents are sometimes more helpful than anything else. With children you see the life from a different position and you will change your whole attitude if they caught your heart. Nothing seems to be so important than to make them happy. They are the future and you can help to create it for them.

The wounds will heal up. They will be scares, which will be
your permanent attender, and they will always remind you
of the things you have done.

Nothing more tonight.

Summer in Vermont

Last year in October I left the States and I missed everything. Now I’m back and I feel if I wouldn’t have been gone at all. The summer is so great in Vermont and I saw some friends. I went back to see my former host family, espeically the kids. I’m here since 2 weeks and still I have barely contact to them. I knew that there would be a lot of work but I thought that they might invite me to a dinner or so. I’m a little bit disappointed. But on the other side I got in contact with another family for who I work now. The history with Katherine is pretty simple. She wanted to have a Aupair and wanted to prepare everything the best. So, she asked me once at playgroup if I could help her to prepare the arrival. I did help her but unfortunately her Aupairs didn’t stay that long. Besides she was a mother of twins who wanted help. So, it was a lot of work. To make it short. She stayed finally without an Aupair and hired long-term babysitters.
Before I left Germany I had nothing than a house to stay at which turned out to be really bad. Now, I will help out Katherine and have a new place to stay at her nighbors apartement. I was really concerned because I didn’t want to stay all the time in a guest room. And furthermore I also want to have my own space because I know how hard is to stay with the kids constantly.
I’m feeling better, even if I originally came for my host kids, I will be happy with the new opportunity that rised at the horizont. The kids from Katherine are awsome. I already knew all of them an Anson knee me from last year. He couldn’t really remember me but he is so open and lively that it was fun to back with them.

This sunday I will change my apartement. I will stay with another family for 8 days and afterwards I will care for the house. This family is great. The mother is American and the dad is German. The mother asked me to help her out while her husband will be gone and after some hesitation I said yes. They offered me so many things that I couldn’t resist and on top of that they really care what I’m doing or want to do. I’m looking forward to this experience and I hope it will work out fine.

The 27th of July I will take the GRE and I hope I will survive it. Definitely I will but I also would like to have a good score. I’m studying for it and the only thing I can do, is, to believe in myself.

That’s so far my summer in Vermont and I’m happy that I’m back because in this way I proved myself right with the feelings about the States.